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I don’t like work… but I like what is in work — the chance to find yourself. Your own reality — for yourself, not for others — which no other man can ever know.
- Joseph Conrad (1857-1924) British novelist.
I’m a staunch believer of simplistic life for inner peace and eternal happiness. Last week I had an article on simplicity that discussed about those of us who have at some point been work binge by sacrificing everything else that gives life a purpose and meaning. Our life actually become an obsession of imprisonment between four walls that act as a mirage of happiness with the pursuit of endless goals that never gives us lasting inner peace.
One of the readers who also is a successful broadcast professional for the NBC, Raleigh asked a very profound question, “I love the less working reference. However, you made me want more! I have a special request…please write a post on this subject. I look forward to your insight!!”
I’m compelled to expound on what I consider less working. It does not mean that somehow we escape the work that we are engaged in, it simply means that if we develop consciousness towards how we spend our time at work by reorganizing our work preferences and by cutting out non essential tasks including vice habits that waste our time, we can learn to create leisure time to spend with family and time for our own inner enrichment.
What makes us workaholic?
Workaholic is our outer response to the lack of inner nurturing. We all have had feeling when we walked in the building that we have escaped all of our problems and by sinking our focus on work, we become the victim of the fallacy that other problems in our life will go away. Now life sometimes demands more work from us as we may have to work for our needs. That is starkly different than our thirst for the work as an obsession. If you work to abandon your inner self, you are a workaholic deprived of inner nurturing to stumble upon the source of fulfilling life. You are simply trying to find happiness, in an external solution of working constantly. You desperately need a pathway to get rid of this habit of over work.
Excess of work often leads to an excess in overeating and drinking or overspending in the leisure time. It becomes a state of mind to abscond with inner turmoil.
I used to work as an engineer and owned hotels as well. For five years, all I knew was to work and run business without a break. Soon, I realized that my life was complex, stressful and lack inner peace due to a false imagination to chase wealth. After the revelation, I’ve been mindful and working constantly on simplifying my work life. I have quit my job and working solely on the hotels that I own.
Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure.
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman, scientist and philosopher.
What can I do to achieve a balance in my life for the inner peace and happiness?
The essential pain of achieving work-life balance lies in taking risk to identifying tasks that once gave social acceptance but are not important. Often the stigma of cowardice prevents us from achieving this balance to please our inner self than to please others.
In last few years, I have made a conscious effort to achieve this balance. I’ve failed many times in developing a burning desire until last year. Less work is akin to frugality in spending. Valuing time as the most precious asset constantly and visualizing leisure time that can bring a happy, fulfilling life shaped my resolve to achieve the work-life balance.
Analyze the current state of work life:
As with spending of money, spending of time or life resources require introspecting a day of work in detail by all the tasks or activities that consume our time. I identified several tasks that were time vampires. With careful circumspection, I set limit or cut out those tasks including friends calling for advice or web surfing.
Make a habit to set limit:
There are things I like to do due to compulsive desire or may be to find happiness in external solutions of social acceptance, recognition and so forth. I’ve learned that controlling mind from wandering on thoughts of excessive focus to do certain tasks is a mind hack that’s essential in bringing work-life balance. It’s difficult but certainly achievable. What I’ve done is to visualize the happiness that I get by creating leisure time for myself and my family.
Eliminate work vices:
After identifying tasks that are essential in my mind, I’ve learned to eliminate non essential tasks similar to other clutters in my life. It takes courage sometimes to throw away that magazine thinking, “I like the cover page, I need to read it some day”. It also takes courage to eliminate those tasks that flatter our mind with blemish desire to seek happiness at the expense of needed leisure time with family.
Checking in and work-life journal:
Best of our intentions die horrible death without a commitment to stick to the habits of work-life balance. Let’s face it, we get swept in the euphoria of achieving professional accolades or wealth to compromise our time for the family or for our own inner, spiritual growth. I have clearly stated my goals of achieving balance and shared that with my wife. I seek her counsel in introspecting my work day to identify if I’ve been deviating from my goal of working on essential tasks only and to keep proper perspective about what’s important to both of us in our long relationship. I also have a journal that captures the honest account of what happened during the day and sets the stage for the day to come so that I focus only on working less yet effectively to free up more leisure time with my wife and daughters.
Many of us have felt the guilt of throwing ourselves in the cubicle that created a flaunting sense of earning false pride from coworkers and friends. In nutshell, it is an escape from our desire to seek better health and happiness that comes from within. It takes discipline, openness to discuss your goals with your boss in terms of achieving work-life balance but in the long run it’s all the more worth going though the stigma once and for all to work less yet work effectively to free up leisure time that’s invaluable.
We give up leisure in order that we may have leisure, just as we go to war in order that we may have peace.
- Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.
Photo courtesy of Absolutely-nothing
To Your Success,





Shilpan, you did an outstanding job describing what is going on in a workaholics mind - or why they are working so much! This type of work is a way to escape from problems. It’s interesting to note that Workaholism is the number 10 addiction. Yes, it is an addiction, yet it is the only one that people will admit.
Great helpul post.
Jennifer’s last blog post..The Art of Peaceful Bill Paying
Shilpan,
The imbalance of work-life is, I think, one of the greatest sources of unhappiness in life and the cause of much stress. This, as you say, has a negative impact on our own health & emotional well-being. Worse still, our own imbalance affects other people and our relationships with people close to us.
You bring out some useful ideas to help adjust the “work till you drop” mindset. Any ways to reduce the obsession with work is a major step towards gaining inner peace.
great post! now i know i’m not a workaholic. this is so important: eliminate non essential tasks similar to other clutters in my life. i’m not quite there yet, but i’m working on it. sometimes the answer is no or i can’t. if you’re asking for something then your works have to reflect your request. can’t ask for more time and then crowd your life with the mudane pleasures.
natural’s last blog post..I Think I Love My Car
Shilpan! Great post you have there.
I sure do need to set limits for myself. Like sleeping longer hours (I average 4 hours for most of the days of the week), and sleeping in earlier like 12am instead of 2am.
Getting a balanced life shouldn’t be a problem after fixing that hours part that I mentioned on my part.
Thanks for sharing this entry!
Daniel Richard | Winning Everyone’s last blog post..3 Ways and a “Catapult” to Get A Kickstart in Your Morning!
My basic philosophy is “Find what you love to do. Find a way to share it with others.” I sometimes have trouble pulling myself away from a project, and that’s all right. It’s feeding my soul. For me it’s only workaholism if I’m only doing it to impress other people, not for the love of doing it. When I’m immersed in a project I regard that as sacred space.
At the moment my daughter is grown, and my husband loves projects, too. I married him because he wasn’t interested in impressing others…and because he enjoys working…we’re kindred spirits.
Great post! Thanks.
Jean Browman–Cheerful Monk’s last blog post..We Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Lovable
@Jennifer -
Workaholic is a growing form of distress that pervades in our society.
@Scott -
Overworking is a self denial to a chaos that exists within. Deftness lies in knowing the symptoms and dealing with it to achieve a fulfilling life for us and for our family.
@ Natural -
You are right on money with the notion that it takes immense courage to say “No” to requests that are time vampires.
@Daniel -
On sleep, I’m with you. I’ve had resolve to sleep for 8 hours but most I’ve been able to sleep is for six hours. Good news is that once I go to bed, it takes only few minutes for me to get a deep sleep.
@Jean -
I adore your philosophical view on simplicity, playfulness and life in general. I’m thankful for your kind words.
Shilpan
I tend to be on the workaholic side… I think it’s a type of addiction, really. Thank you for these tips. setting limits is crucial.
Vered’s last blog post..It’s Never Too Early For Sugary Drinks (Wordless Wednesday)
THANK YOU so much for this post. You really bring words to life!!! I am a bona fida work a holic and try to work towards balance everyday. I say this on a vacation day that I spent 75% of my day working. I had to catch up so that I could spend the rest of my vacation week actually enjoying my family who is coming to visit. I really enjoyed the balance references…this is so hard to conquer. Again, thank you. You have inspired me to write a post tonight…I will link up to you!
Maryann’s last blog post..What came first…not chicken or the egg?
@Maryann -
Thanks for the kind words but I also have struggled with this syndrome of work obsession. What I have written is truly what I practice to bring my life back to balance zone for the leisure time that is truly leisure to walk in the park, to see birds flying and most of all, to spend time with my wife and daughters who will leave home in two years to begin their own life journey. I will be anxious to read your post. I hope that writing this article has answered your question.
Thanks
Shilpan
Shilpan,
Is it possible to achieve financial stability or security with doing less work?
Here’s my struggles. I like the comforts that we have right now which is not much at all. I also would like my children to be able to finish school without them incurring any debt because I believe that they should not be in a hole before they start their career.
So my question is, how will I be able to achieve living life with simplicity and less work without sacrificing my comforts and my children’s education. And when I speak of comfort, I’m speaking of having an internet, cable tv and a cell phone. We don’t go out much and we really don’t buy a lot of things…
I guess having a big family puts a strain in working less and living a life of simplicity.
chris’s last blog post..My Family’s Shape
@Chris -
Great question. I’m with you as far as financial responsibility you have for your family. What I’ve done in this article is to stress the importance of overworking more as a workaholic to escape the problems in life. Most workaholic people stay at work and engage in chores that are time vampires and obviously more stressful in long run as family pays a big price for this vice. I’d say that finding work that brings happiness is the most noble act we can perform daily but getting obsessed in excessive work habits tend to destroy relationships and poss major health problems.
Shilpan
Agreed. I’m all for simplifying and cutting out the noise and the mindless tasks that we sometimes find ourselves doing. I don’t deny that I am “addicted” to what I do on the web or my need for time to do inner work. However, I choose to make conscious decisions on how I spend my time. How else can I manage with two young kids in a demanding school education system, and living in a place like Singapore?
Thanks for sharing. Enjoyed the article!
Evelyn
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map’s last blog post..7 Steps To Self Discovery
You know what is said about ALL WORK AND NO PLAY. I have the perfect idea. Make life an adventure! Take a cruise or tour out west with your family. Or take them to Washington, D C. They’ll love all the togetherness and awsome places you take them. You’ll be building memories they will never forget. You will feel so good that you did it. Quality Time with each other is the most precious thing we give our family and friends.
Great post Shilpan - I know a few workaholics/busyholics, and they don’t even seem to realize they are keeping so busy to avoid being in touch with their real selves. They are even proud of it!
We might come and stay in one of your hotels some time :=)
Cheers - Robin
Robin’s last blog post..Together forever
I think that there’s a difference between workaholics who simply love what they do (I’ve heard making deals is a game for Donald Trump, he just enjoys what he does so much), and workaholics who are trying to keep themselves busy at work to avoid taking a good hard look at everything that is not going right in their lives. If you’re postponing your life to chase after elusive goals, chances are you’re in for a rude awakening. But I think that if you’ve found your true calling and are enjoying yourself and living in the now, spending a lot of time at work is fine (as long as it’s not so much time that you neglect your health or your family). I think it’s a very good post and I agree with what you’re saying Shilpan, I’m just saying that the “point of balance” is not at the same place for everyone. Have a good night.
Marelisa’s last blog post..Coaxing Creativity
Great topic and great coverage!
Resonates a lot with me a lot - check out on “Keep up with the exponentially growing pace- Set your own pace.” in
http://practicethis.com/2008/05/12/learning-capability-is-your-core-competitive-advantage/
I also loved Susan Rogers’ “Make life an adventure!” which relates fantastically to Dale Carnegie’s “Take a chance! All life is a chance.”
http://practicethis.com/2008/05/19/motivated-by-failure/
I wonder why in Spain they have siesta?….
Alik | PracticeThis.com’s last blog post..Motivated By Failure
Great article for finding balance! I am currently working really hard to set limits because I could work all day long seven days a week. Cutting back and not working during free time is a recent goal of mine.
Dr. Nicole Sundene’s last blog post..Are you suffering from a TERMINAL case of “The I Can’ts”?
Yes I agree that we must find a balance between work and life, though of course work is part of life, and if you can detect your own purpose and then do this as your work, you’ll never have to work again.
Michael Miles’s last blog post..Why write a mission statement?
@Evelyn -
We, all bloggers, are somewhat guilty of the sin of blogging obsession. However, as you’ve mentioned that if it brings inner happiness, it is worth it. My objective in this article is to stress on the importance of balancing life.
@Susan -
You gave me an idea about my next article - “How to Make Life an Adventure” Haha..
All your points are well taken. Thanks.
@Robin -
Most workaholic are so intertwined with their work that they do not realize that life has no mercy for things they miss. Good point.
@Marelisa -
What I define a workaholic is a person with
Passion (May be or not) - Time Management Skills
@Alik -
I know that you have a Mantra to Work Less, Work Smart. My intent really is to expound on the same principle. I’m glad that the article resonated well with your thinking.
@Dr Nicole -
Thank you for the comment. You’ve hit nail in the head with - “Cutting back and not working during leisure time”. With technological advancements, we have lost touch with true meaning of leisure time.
@Micheal -
Great point. Work becomes a source of happiness if we find purpose.
Thanks
Shilpan
Usually, when somebody says “work,” I think they mean “a bunch of stuff they don’t want to do.”
I think the key is to make work play and follow your passion. If you’re not living your passion, you’re dying a slow death. Of course, one problem that can come with the passion, is obsession, and that can lead to burning the midnight oil.
I used to burn the midnight oil until I carved out a frame for my life (mind, body, emotions, career, financial, relationships.) I then started investing and improving in each area. This forced me to balance.
I’ve found that the most successful people, use boundaries. For example, one of my colleagues uses the rule “give my all during the week, but no work on the weekend.” Another collague has the rule “dinner on the table at 5:30.” Time boundaries are VERY effective.
The secret of why time boundaries work is you get smarter about what you bite off for the day, the week, the month … etc. If you have no boundaries on your day, your work is never done.
I think mental transitions are important too. One of my favorite techniques is, “hang your problems on a tree” when you go home, so you can pick them back up on your way to work.
J.D. Meier’s last blog post..The Curse of Knowledge
It is indeed easy to work smarter rather than harder and make more in the process but it can take a little time to build and shift. Time and reeducation.
You captured my old life well, Shilpan. I worked very hard but it was never enough. I was a partner, so worked extra to try and make it happen, but it took over 5 years just to reach break even. Finally I realized I had to get out of the situation. What really woke me up is how much of what I did that was “absolutely required” that they simply let go after I left.
The ‘aholic’ part of workaholic is the key. If you are obsessed with the work, it is an addiction. And curiously, it is an addiction to avoid feeling by doing. After I left, the following year was one of great clearing and release.
It is amazing what the mind will do and the tricks it has to avoid. To resist what is. And unintentionally, to resist happiness itself.
If you are as Jena said, in love with your work it is not an addiction, it is the outflow of love, of your creative spirit.
But even there, balance is important. Balance and moderation in all things. Doing what you love will bring happiness. Finding balance will keep it.
Davidya’s last blog post..Homeward unbound
Hi Shilpan,
I like your idea of having a journal and recording what happened each day. It would help to hold us accountable for our actions, and give us insight into how we can change things to become more efficient and effective.
I might have to give that a try.
I like what Davidya said. “Doing what you love will bring happiness. Finding balance will keep it.” Those are great words to live by.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..No Comment
workaholism is definitely a real problem of our days society… great job at analyzing it
mihai andrei’s last blog post..Different degrees of honesty and one exemple for each
From early in life, work philosophies are ingrained in our minds by mentors and other role models. Some people evolve to “live to work” and others prefer the view of “working to live.” The process of learning about what enables you to feel good, what enables you to feel a sense of purpose, doesn’t always become the focus of your work. Why? Behaviour patterns teach us a lot about our feelings on our jobs and careers. The point id that some people do not choose to raise their awareness or to change their patterns even when they realize that what they are doing is unhealthy.
@J.D.
When passion becomes obsession, we ignore things that are more important for our soul - family and inner peace. Your advice is invaluable.
@Davidya -
I love this sentence of yours - “Workaholic - it is an addiction to avoid feeling by doing.”
So true. Indeed you are the master when it comes to putting thoughts on the paper.
@mihai -
I agree with you 100% my friend.
@Liara -
I like your assessment of - “ome people evolve to “live to work” and others prefer the view of “working to live.”
Hi Shilpan
Very well-written. You are correct to say that a workaholic lacks inner nurturing. The sub-conscience recognises this void and tries to fill it up. If the person is positive, he does acts of compassion and reaches out to others with love, in the process healing and nurturing himself. However, if he is negative, he becomes bitter and can become a workaholic where he tries to fool himself into thinking that he is being productive.
Thanks Shilpan, for this useful post.
Best wishes
Ayesha
Ayesha Parveen’s last blog post..Love-Stories
What a powerful post. I never thought about this before - I quote “Workaholic is our outer response to the lack of inner nurturing.”
It makes sense.. the same way people time out from life from excessive tv watching.. things like that.
You have some powerful insight - I wonder where you get it from
Keep up the amazing writing. I am going to share this link on InMyHeels Notables
JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You’s last blog post..7 Guaranteed Ways to Drastically Improve Your Life
@ Ayesha, JEMi -
It’s amazing the both of you share the same sentiment. I’ve witnessed some of my best friends being workaholic yet they vehemently refused to accept the reality with excuses to overshadow the truth. In reality, they are not transparent to their own inner being. Knowing our inner desire and doing best to nurture it without worrying too much about its impact on our social circle, makes us stronger as a person, both physically and spiritually.
Thanks
Shilpan