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There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision, and for whom the lighting of every cigar, the drinking of every cup, the time of rising and going to bed every day, and the beginning of every bit of work, are subjects of express volitional deliberation.
- William James (1842-1910) American philosopher and psychologist.



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Several days ago, I was driving on a free way, listening to the music, in a relaxed and calm state of mind. I felt peace, a sense of deep serenity.

All of a sudden, I felt a jolt of emotional impulse as if life train came to a screeching halt, life posed me with a split second decision to ride on either side of the highway that was about to split. I was terrified, a tidal wave of worries splashed over my frightened face.

I realized that time was of essence, and I had to make the right decision. What if I’m wrong?I remember murmuring to myself. Moments of calmness were filled with self-pity, angst and feebleness. A black mustard dawned upon my ability to think with boldness in the face of this challenge.

I’m sure everyone of us have felt this daunting task of decision making paralyzing our ability to embrace that moment of challenge and come through as an adroit gladiator. Why we crumble with strongest of our will power be vanishing in the tidal wave of worries when it comes to making a decision that we are responsible to make? Why we feel to hold on to the lifeboat of other sailors to escape from the plight of this decision daemon when if fact, our decisions shape our destiny?

I pulled the car on the side line as if I was a feeble, mindless driver pleading others to show me the pathway that wasn’t clear in my own mind. I sat in the car with closed eyes and, with music still playing, pulled a piece of paper to write down the prescription to this disease of mine called - Indecision.

1. What’s my purpose?

Often, all roots of an evil reside in our lack of willingness to know who we are. The creator who sent us on this earth has defined our purpose, and safeguarded that with the intent to arouse our curiosity about what inspires us. We have to walk the pathway that leads to that safeguarded purpose which fills our heart with abundance of will power and unwavering faith to walk the roads unknown and when needed to make difficult decisions. When we get paralyzed to make decision even for seemingly mundane tasks, it’s due to the lack of identifying our true potential and taking time to nurture our inner core to focus on the purpose that becomes our road map on a long odyssey. Without purpose, we tend to react to the circumstances without clarity. Obviously, lack of clarity injects tidal wave of fear and self-pity that shuns our logical thinking.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
- Mark Twain (1835-1910) U.S. humorist, writer, and lecturer.

2. Defeatist mindset:

I could have applied my instinct and my gut feeling to take either side of the split on that highway, but I did not. What happened? First, I couldn’t conjure boldness to accept the failure in case if I made the wrong turn. In reality, even if I made a wrong decision, I knew that getting back to the right decision was then even a lot easier as I’d eliminated the mistake. Mistake, huh? How can I make a mistake? My ego kicked in with full savor. Second, a fable of fear surmounted my feeble mind like a an octopus. I was defeated before even battle began. A vacuum of self doubt took over the juice of wit that escaped my mind with a deftness of Kangaroo. I will be wrong. I affirmed. True, I was wrong as I was sitting on the life line pleading for help from bystanders who looked at me with grimness.

3. Obsession to please others:

While sitting at the cross road, I pulled few maps to find the pathway in vein. Then, all of a sudden, I pulled my cell phone with courage to call my friend to ask, “I’m lost, can you assist me find the road leading to your house?” My fingers refused to dial the phone and eventually forced me to abandon false hope that I harbored for few seconds. What happened? My ego, as always, took rein with its daemon sprawl to binge my thoughts of pleasing others with flakiness to avoid reaching out to others when time calls for. How can I look so idiot to my friend who thinks I’m the pot of intellect? No, I can’t call him, never.

All three symptoms crippled my ability to remain calm, relaxed in the face of this challenge to make decision. I realized that while my car was sitting on the sideline, others were driving with confidence chasing at full speed ahead on the pathway of happiness. I was at standstill. Not making a decision was costing me abundantly more than to have courage to wiggle through the possibility of making a wrong decision. While the decision may turn out wrong, I’d have had courage to move ahead and would still be ahead on the pathway unbiased to everyone who had courage to make bold decisions.

How can I get my car back on the highway again?

A burst of positivity swept the black mustard of feebleness. I gathered courage to think and to move on with my journey no matter what it takes.

1. I need to know where I’m going and prepare for the route:

Knowing my destiny is an act of self awareness. Knowing my strengths and weaknesses prepares me for the long journey with countless bumps that are inevitable on the way. What matters most is knowing where I’m going and instilling the seeds of success, even before I begin my journey. No intellect or will power survives the tidal waves of worries that come and go in our life without being equipped with the lifeboat and clear instruction on dealing with these difficulties.

2. Squash the negativity; inject fuel of positivity:

It’s vital to win the battle in our mind before fight begins. Our mind often deprives us of decisions clandestinely. It becomes our own foe. We have to remember that we are still the masters of our body and mind. Squash thoughts of negativity that cripples our ability to think. Squash the bird that tries to fly singing, “I don’t know what to do”. Instead, inject fuel of positivity, “I will seek and find the righteous pathway. I know where I am heading!”

3. Seek for help when needed:

Leave your ego in a closet before you leave your home. It’s least desired on the pathway to happiness. It’s one of the culprits when it comes to indecision. Instead, feel calm and relaxed knowing that you are seeking help from others to accentuate your journey.

When we are happy with who we are, when we love what we do knowing the bumps that are to arrive, when we learn to love the failures, when we transcend fear into confidence, making decisions become as easy as taking a shower after we rise in the morning.

In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
- T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

Photo courtesy of Adam of Thinksimplenow

Other Blogs -

Peter has a great article - The Magic of Every Day Mindset.


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Written by: Shilpan on 2008-05-17 at 10:57 am
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